Last week I had the good fortune to celebrate my 40th birthday. I’ve accomplished a lot in this last year and I am extremely proud. I love to imagine what my dad would have had to say to me. I’d love to hear him say that he was proud and I would love to exchange one of our silly secret handshakes. But knowing my dad all he would have said is “… [live a] life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God” – Colossians 1:10
I was in my early 30’s when my dad passed away do to complications during surgery caused by his Multiple Myeloma. The day before the surgery my dad spoke with me and asked me to take care of my mom should anything happen. I walked out of that room with no fear that he would be fine and that the surgery was going to be a success. Sadly things didn’t turn out as we had hoped and that would be the last conversation I had with my father. Up to that point in my life I’d been a rather carefree person focused on my career. My father was my compass he helped me thru tons of situations in my life and now my compass was gone forever.
At this point in my life I was already at least 100 lbs overweight. I remember not crying when my dad first passed away but a few months later I found myself on the side of the road with a flat tire and the reality that he was not there any more sunk in and I lost it. I was lost in this limbo for several years I dealt with the loss the only way I knew how which was by burying myself in my work and eating junk food. I had quit hanging out with my friends and became a recluse (something I still struggle with today). Eventually I got myself turned around and I took control over my life which helped me get healthy.
I’m sharing this because even though I’ve managed to lose over 200 lbs the habits that helped me get to 438 lbs are still a part of who I am and I think that it’s important that I acknowledge them so that I may be able to change them.